April, 1099

"Well. Today's your big day, Lita," mom says as she checks my entire outfit.

Boots, belt, jacket, collar. Then her fingers find Sora's ribbon at my nape and fix the bow she tied five minutes ago.

The 2nd of April. Today's the day.

"Yes," I reply. "Ms. Dobermann's test."

Mom smooths my hair.

"You will do just fine." The honey fizzes. "But maybe, try to improve that Fail on your file, alright? Almost no Operator has a fail."

"Almost no Operator?"

"Almost."

My tail smacks the mattress. "I try…"

"I know you do." She tugs my sleeves down over my hands. "All set?"

"All set, mom."

"Alright, my little Lita."

Mom plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Good luck. See you at lunch."

"See you, mom."

She gives me one more smile from the doorway, and then she's gone.

The elevator takes me all the way down to the training halls.

The corridors down here are plainer than anywhere else on the landship. Bare steel, scuffed floors, doors built to take a beating. Behind them, things thud and clang.

One of the doors is open.

Fizzing cherry cola and hot coals. Then something I don't know: cold rainwater off sheet metal, and the dry grit of a whetstone.

I slow down and look in.

Two Operators on the mat, spears up. One is a Sarkaz with fiery crimson hair and short curved horns. I think I remember her from my files. Vigna.

The other is a Kuranta. Dark blue hair, tied up and long enough to swing past her knees. Her fringe hangs over one eye, and a pair of goggles sits pushed up on her head.

Steel cracks against steel, twice. They step apart.

"Fang! Your form is great today."

Vigna stops and wipes her forehead with the back of her wrist. She grabs two water bottles off the bench and holds one out.

"Thank you," Fang replies, flat.

I keep walking.

Training Hall 8. Training Hall 9.

Training Hall… 10.

I step inside.

Cracked black pepper, stiffly pressed canvas, unsweetened espresso. Then, from further back, something cooler: smooth river stones, the static in the air before rain, and a faint sweetness of honeydew.

The hall is wide and bare. Blue mats, a track painted around the edge, and a striking pad on a steel pillar with its readout still dark.

Ms. Dobermann stands in the middle of it. As rigid as ever, with a clipboard under one arm and the whip at her hip.

Rosmontis is in the back, standing. Looking.

"You are early, Operator Lethe," Ms. Dobermann states. "When you are ready, we will begin."

"Good morning, Ms. Dobermann." I bow, then look past her. "Rosmontis is here for…?"

"Dr. Kal'tsit asked me to observe your progress," Rosmontis says.

My tail curls behind my calves.

I take a deep breath.

"Okay. I am ready, Ms. Dobermann."

Ms. Dobermann doesn't move. Cracked pepper, pressed canvas, espresso. None of it shifts.

"Today's test is simple," she explains. "Given your unique situation, a standard onboarding test would fail you as a deployable Field Operator. So this will be an environmental simulation."

She lifts the clipboard from under her arm and taps it once.

"You will be fighting real combat data from Rhodes Island's Elite Ops' combat operations. And you will be scored accordingly."

Behind her, the striking pad's readout stays dark.

"Am I clear, Operator Lethe?"

My tail shoots straight up.

"What?!"

From the back of the hall, a little pineapple soft serve.

I clap both hands over my mouth. My sleeves fall over them.

"Yes… Ms. Dobermann…" I say through the fabric. "I will try…"

"The combat data were gathered during the Reunion siege," Ms. Dobermann continues, "and the annihilation and security contracts that followed."

"We weren't as strong back then. From the footage I saw," Rosmontis adds from the back of the hall.

"Th… Thanks?"

"Proceed with testing, Operator Lethe." Ms. Dobermann steps back toward the wall. "There is only one condition for success. Survive."

She taps the clipboard.

"The simulation duration is set to five minutes."

Somewhere above us, a synthetic voice starts.

"Loading combat simulation."

"Location data imported. Chernobog."

"Combat data imported. Operator Sharp. Operator Blaze. Operator Pith. Operator Rosmontis."

I count them on my fingers inside my sleeve.

"Four… four?!" I spin around to the back of the hall. "Rosmontis too?"

Rosmontis gives me a slow nod.

Then the hall goes.

The blue mats darken first, then the walls, then the ceiling. The lights are gone, and smoke is rising where the floor used to be.

I am standing in a burning street.

Grey stone buildings rise on both sides, their columns and tall windows black with soot. Further back, a tower fades into the smoke. A yellow car sits in the middle of the road, burnt out, its windows dark. Fire crawls along the gutters.

It tastes of nothing.

Somewhere behind it, very faint: cracked pepper. Cool stone.

They step out of the smoke one at a time.

A Liberi first. Silver hair with a single streak of teal, braided long down her back, dark feathers fanned out above her head. Goggles and a mask hide most of her face. Her staff ends in a ring of hooks. A Caster.

Then a Phidia man with a beard and a heavy vest full of pouches. His riot shield is almost as tall as I am, with RHODES ISLAND stamped on the front. A Guard.

They look real.

But no taste at all.

Then the two Felines I actually know.

Blaze, her chainsaw resting on her shoulder, a red band holding back her long dark hair. Rosmontis, small inside a big dark coat, her tail swaying.

They are not attacking me.

None of them even looks at me.

I tilt my head. My left horn drags it further to the left.

"What?"

"Loading enemy scenario," the voice says from somewhere above the smoke. "Mephisto. Possessed."

"Wait…" I look from Blaze to Rosmontis. "I am not fighting the Elite Ops?"

Before anyone can answer, the Phidia raises his shield. A heavy spear comes out of the smoke, slams into it and bounces off, clattering to the ground. The impact staggers him back a step.

"Contact!" Blaze yells. Her chainsaw roars awake.

Rosmontis raises her right arm. Behind her, three huge constructs lift out of the smoke, stamped 01, 02 and 03, and hang in the air while she scans the smoke-choked horizon.

"Lita, don't just stand there."

Rosmontis's voice. It sounds far away.

I turn to her. The projection is still scanning the horizon, arm raised, constructs hanging in the air. Her mouth hasn't moved.

Cool stone, faint, from somewhere behind the smoke.

The real one.

Right. I am a Supporter.

I need to be a Supporter.

My Nightmare Eater. I need him now.

I pull my Arts Unit off my belt and dash back behind a fallen pillar.

Something whistles over my horns. A second spear punches into the yellow car behind me and goes straight through the door.

"Possessed…" What are they again?

Think, Lita. Ms. Skyfire made you read about every enemy Rhodes Island has ever faced.

You weren't just playing with plushies in your dorm all afternoon. Were you?

"Doesn't matter!"

I squeeze the staff. The misty blue liquid in the crest starts to spin. I close my eyes and build the shape first: white, faceless, misty blue wings, a mane like woodsmoke. Then what it's made of. Mom's honey. Lisa's sugar. Podenco's yuzu.

Protect us.

Like every other Arts training session before, he comes out of thin air.

Before anything else, he rubs the side of his head against my cheek. The mane tickles, and it smells of woodsmoke.

"Okay, okay." I push at him with both sleeves. "Now go." I point at the front.

He goes.

From back here behind the pillar, I can see the whole street.

The Liberi Caster has tucked herself behind the corner of a building. She leans out, takes one careful shot, and leans back in.

Rosmontis drops her constructs into the road one after another. Each one lands like a wall, and between them she leaves a single narrow lane. Whatever stumbles out of the smoke on the wrong side, she flattens.

At the mouth of the lane, the Phidia holds his shield up and takes everything thrown at it.

Whatever gets past him meets Blaze.

Above them, the Nightmare Eater circles once, then hangs in the air, wings beating, with nowhere to go.

I lower my staff.

"Uhm… they don't really need me?"

Just as I lower my guard, the mist comes.

It rolls in under the smoke, pale and low, and swallows the far end of the street first. Not smoke. Smoke moves. This just settles.

It's heavy. It sits on my shoulders and the top of my head like a hand pressing down.

Somewhere inside it, a sound. High and thin, rising and falling.

"Is that… sing…?"

The word falls apart before I finish it.

I cannot think.

"What…"

I squeeze my eyes shut. It doesn't help. The sound isn't outside anymore. It's inside my head.

My Arts Unit hits the ground. I don't remember letting go. Both my hands are on my head, sleeves falling over my horns, and I'm shaking it as if I can shake the sound out.

I open my left eye, just a little.

Far down the street, inside the mist and the smoke, is the shadow of a giant bird.

My knees hit the ground.

Somewhere above the street, the tether snaps. My Arts Creation is gone. I can feel the place where he was.

I cannot focus.

The singing fills everything. Every time I try to hold a thought, it slides away.

Through my one open eye: shapes in the mist. Tall and hunched, with black spikes jutting from their backs and red glowing in the cracks. One of them is much bigger than the rest, a long spiked tail dragging through the rubble behind it.

"Sharp, watch out!"

The Liberi, I think.

The Phidia, Sharp, only grunts.

"Blaze. Your three o'clock," Rosmontis says.

"We need to get to that overgrown bird!" Blaze yells.

The chainsaw screams. Then the sound of it tearing through something wet.

"We won't last long," she adds.

Honey.

Su… sugar.

Yuzu…

Chestnut.

Mint…

Chocolate.

Coffee…

Everyone…

My hands find the ground. My knees come up under me.

I stand.

My Arts Unit is lying where I dropped it. I grab it, and the moment my fingers close around the shaft, everything goes soft at the edges. My head clears. Only a little. Enough.

I look.

Sharp is down on one knee behind his shield, pinned. The Possessed have stopped using weapons. They're tearing at the edges of his shield with their bare hands.

A spear comes out of the mist and hits the Liberi in the right arm. She spins back behind the corner. The Liberi… Pith.

Even Rosmontis has gone behind cover.

"Pith!"

Sharp shoves up off his knee and kicks the Possessed that's tearing at his shield square in the chest. It tumbles back into the mist. He starts to give ground, one heavy step at a time, shield up, toward the corner where she disappeared.

I reach for Pith first. Find the pain. Open the channel. Swallow it.

There is nothing to find.

No ash. No copper. Not even the sting of a fresh wound. Just a Liberi leaning against the wall, holding her arm, something dark seeping between her fingers.

But I can push.

I raise my Arts Unit and point the crest at Sharp's back. Honey and spun sugar, warm and steady.

There is nowhere for it to land.

I turn the crest on the shapes pouring out of the mist instead. Heavy. Slow. So tired. Lie down.

It goes through them too.

I look at them properly and reach for anything. Rancid grease. Rusted iron. Over-fermented alcohol.

They taste of nothing.

My tail lashes against the pillar.

"This is not fair!" I shout up at the smoke. "I cannot taste anything!"

The voice above the street says nothing.

Behind the smoke, faint: cracked pepper, cool stone. Neither of them moves.

Sharp reaches the corner and plants his shield beside Pith. The Possessed throw themselves at it anyway.

They don't come at him like soldiers. They come over the rubble, over each other. One of them sinks its teeth into the rim of his shield and doesn't let go. When Blaze's chainsaw opens another one up, it keeps clawing across the asphalt toward her boots until she brings the blade down again.

"Rosmontis! Left!"

A construct drops out of the smoke. The road jumps under my feet. Two Possessed climb straight over it.

Blaze plants herself in the middle of the lane. Rosmontis drops another wall. Then another.

They're holding.

Without me.

The misty blue liquid in my crest turns, slowly, with nothing to do.

I am useless…

My tail finds my ankle.

The singing swells again. The edges of everything start to slide.

Then, from somewhere under it, cracked pepper.

"There is only one condition for success."

Ms. Dobermann, on the blue mats, before the hall went.

Survive.

I clutch my staff to my chest and duck back behind a wall.

Rubble at my back. I pull my knees up and make myself small.

I need to stabilize.

I close my eyes and push out.

Like before. Honey. Sugar. Yuzu. Chestnut. Mint. Chocolate. Coffee.

Everyone.

I let it go in every direction at once. Over the wall, into the street, into the smoke.

They aren't real. I push anyway.

So they can keep fighting.

The singing is still there. But it's further away now, on the other side of the honey.

I stay low.

Out in the street, the chainsaw roars, stops, and roars again. The thud of a construct hitting the road shudders the ground under me. Sharp grunts. Someone shouts something I don't catch.

I don't look.

I don't know how long. I just keep pushing. Honey. Sugar. Everyone.

"Simulation ending."

The smoke goes first, and the ceiling lights come back through it. Then the buildings. Then the street. The fire in the gutters goes out all at once. Blaze, Rosmontis, Sharp and Pith are gone between one breath and the next.

So is the wall.

My back finds nothing. I tip over and land flat on the blue mat with a thump, my Arts Unit still clutched to my chest.

Cracked pepper. Stiffly pressed canvas. Unsweetened espresso.

Ms. Dobermann's face leans into view.

"Unconventional."

She makes a single mark on her clipboard.

"Pass."

I blink up at her.

Pass?

"Stand up, Operator Lethe."

I try. My legs are jelly. They shake from my thighs all the way down into my boots, and my calves burn the way they did on New Year's morning.

"I don't think I can…"

Ms. Dobermann just stands there.

I stay where I am. The ceiling lights are very bright.

She waits a little longer. Then she tucks the clipboard back under her arm.

"Today's testing is concluded. I will approve you for deployment into non-combat hot zones."

She turns her head toward the back of the hall.

"Both of you are dismissed for now. Operator Rosmontis, be present for training at fourteen zero zero. Operator Lethe, your training is at seventeen zero zero tomorrow."

"I will," Rosmontis replies.

"Yes, Ms. Dobermann," I breathe out at the ceiling.

Her boots click away across the mats. The pneumatic doors hiss open, then shut, and the cracked pepper goes with her.

Smooth stone and the static before rain come closer.

"Rosmontis." I turn my head on the mat. "What's a non-combat hot zone?"

She crouches beside me, her coat pooling on the mat around her boots. She pulls out her slate and taps at it.

"Zones where a heavy Field Ops presence is required without active combat," she reads.

"Oh…" I look back up at the ceiling. "I still don't get it…"

"Lita wants lunch?" Rosmontis asks before I can ask anything else about the zones.

"Lunch… Can you help me get up first?"

She tucks her slate away and stands. Then she holds out her left hand.

I let my Arts Unit roll off my chest onto the mat and lift my hand. My sleeve slides down over my fingers. She takes my hand through it anyway.

Rosmontis is surprisingly sturdy.

She barely moves. She doesn't brace or lean back. One pull, and my whole body comes up off the mat. For a second, the static before rain gets a little stronger.

Then I am on my feet. My knees wobble. She keeps hold of my hand until they stop.

I pat down my jacket. It's wrinkled all over from the mat. My skort is creased too, so I smooth the pleats flat.

My Arts Unit is still lying on the mat.

I bend down for it. My thighs burn all the way down.

"Ouchie…"

I straighten up very slowly, one hand on my knee, and press the shaft to the back of my belt. It clicks into place.

"Lunch," I say. "Yes, please. Uhm… if you don't mind, mo… Erika will be there too. Podenco and Lisa, probably."

"I don't mind," Rosmontis says. "Everyone can come."

She heads for the doors, not fast. I follow. Behind us, the striking pad's readout is still dark.

The walk to the cafeteria takes twice as long as it should.

The cafeteria doors slide apart on the lunch rush. Long lights hang under the mesh ceiling, and the yellow lines painted across the floor disappear under Operators carrying trays. Cutlery clinks, trays clatter onto tables, and the air is thick with broth and roasted starch.

Sun-drenched honey, from somewhere past the steel warmers.

Mom is already there, at one of the pale tables by the spiral staircase. Her translucent coat is draped over the seat beside her, holding the seats. She stands up when she sees us and waves.

"Over here, Lita, Rosmontis."

"Caladria," Rosmontis replies, with a small nod.

Then mom takes one look at me.

Her eyes go from my wrinkled jacket to my knees, then down to my tail dragging along the floor behind me.

"You should eat steak or grilled fish with greens on the side today, Lita. You need the energy."

"But…"

I look past her at the bakery section at the end of the line. Rows of golden rolls sit behind the glass, and somewhere among them are the soft ones with red bean inside.

"One roll."

Mom doesn't even follow where I am looking.

"Just one?"

"One."

The honey fizzes.

"Okay, mom."

I grab a tray from the stack. Rosmontis and mom fall in behind me, and we join the line.

The proteins come first. Thick slices of grilled meat, dark at the edges. Beside them, grilled fish, the skin crisp and striped from the grill.

In the next section are the omelettes, folded and yellow, lined up in neat rows behind the glass.

I look at them a little longer than I should.

Mom always knows best… I think.

"One grilled fish, please," I say to the server, a Perro in a white cap with his tongs already in hand.

"Extra vegetables," mom adds from behind me.

The Perro's tail wags once. A fillet lands on my plate. A heap of steamed greens slides in beside it, then a second spoonful on top.

My tail drops dead.

We check out our lunch. I tap my ID card at the terminal, and mom and Rosmontis carry their trays off toward the table.

I go back to the bakery section.

The red bean ones sit in a perfect row at the end.

If I am going to pick one, I am going to pick the biggest.

I pick up the tongs and check every one of them. The biggest is right at the back, of course. It takes me two tries to reach it. I set it on my tray beside the fish and the mountain of greens, then tap my ID card a second time.

Crystallized sugar and sunshine. Sun-ripened yuzu and green tea.

Lisa and Podenco are already at the table, sitting across from mom.

"Hello, Lisa, Podenco." I lift my free hand to wave, and the tray tips. I level it just before the roll goes over the edge.

"Look who made it," Podenco says.

I slide in beside mom. "How's the garden today?"

Lisa swallows her mouthful first.

"Hi, Lita! I was at Arts training."

"Well, it was pretty quiet with our two troublemakers both at training," Podenco replies, pointing her fork from Lisa to me.

Lisa ignores Podenco completely and leans across the table toward me. "How was your training today, Lita? You had a test, right?"

"I passed."

"Congratulations!" Lisa clasps her hands together. "We should celebrate tonight!"

Beside me, mom's honey goes thick, sweeter than usual.

Podenco rests her chin on her hand. "So what was the test about?"

"It was a simulation of real combat. In a place called Chernobog." My fork stops over the fish. "It's quite scary…"

Every taste at the table goes a little flatter. Mom's honey. Lisa's sugar. Podenco's yuzu.

Except Rosmontis. The cool stone stays exactly where it was.

"She thought she was going to fight Elite Ops," Rosmontis says.

"Hey!" My tail smacks the table leg. "Ms. Dobermann made it sound like that was the test!"

"It was my first time fighting anything…"

I stop as soon as the sentence leaves my mouth.

Beside me, the honey goes still.

"Wait, Lita…" Mom sets her fork down. "Do you…?"

My hands pull back into my sleeves. My tail wraps tightly around one of the table legs.

"I… I only remember waking up in a bed…" I look down at my tray. The biggest roll sits there, untouched. "Feeling guilty about something I did. In a place called Londinium…"

I pick up the red bean roll and break it open. The soft dough tears apart, and the dark filling inside carries that earthy sweetness I know.

I look back up.

"Don't worry, everyone." I hold up half of the roll. "I still remember everyone here. And my favorite food."

For a moment, nobody says anything.

Then mom reaches over and tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. The honey comes back, slowly.

"What cake do you want for dinner tonight?"

"I… I can?"

"Of course."

I lower the roll. "Eleanor told me about some really creamy ones from Siracusa. She had them on her mission with Ms. Skyfire." My tail unwraps from the table leg, and swishes against the floor. "I think she said it's called… Ti… Tira something."

"Tiramisu?" mom asks.

"Yes?"

"That has caffeine in it."

"Mom…"

"Let's make non-caffeine ones." Lisa twists her fork in her mashed potatoes. "Miss Erika, we can use the break room kitchen, right?"

Mom nods. "Let's meet at the break room near the dorms at eighteen zero zero."

"Okay!" Lisa, Podenco and I reply together.

Rosmontis just nods along.

Rosmontis leaves first, for her training. Mom squeezes my shoulder and heads off to her shift in the wards.

"We have to get back," Podenco says, stacking her tray on top of Lisa's. "Medical keeps asking for more, and Miss Lena can't fill it all by herself."

"Laters!" I wave them off, and head for the Archives.

The door hisses open.

The familiar rows of books and slates.

"Miss Eyjafjalla."

Eleanor's voice, loud for the Archives.

"Miss Eyjafjalla."

No reply.

Roasted chestnuts and a dormant hearth fire. She is definitely here. Fresh parchment and mint, too.

I turn a corner.

Eleanor is sitting at a table, right across from Adele.

Adele is reading. Her magnifying glass hovers over the page, moving slowly from line to line.

She doesn't look up.

Eleanor drops her book onto the table.

She reaches across and tugs Adele's sleeve, just slightly.

Adele looks up. The hearth fire warms.

"Yes? Mint?" Adele asks with a soft smile. Her airy voice doesn't change.

"You said you were planning to go back to Leithanien for a few weeks." Eleanor's fingers stay on the edge of Adele's sleeve. Parchment and mint, wilting at the edges. "I was just thinking… I am a little worried about the Caster we faced last time… Are there more of them?"

Adele doesn't answer right away.

Her eyes stay on Eleanor's mouth, even after Eleanor has stopped talking.

"Ah… the Caster," Adele says at last. She sets her magnifying glass down on the open page. "The Twin Empresses have disbanded the cult. Many of them…"

The hearth fire sinks low, and something under it goes cold.

"Well… they are no longer going to be able to harm anyone else…"

Neither of them says anything for a while.

Then Adele turns her head and finds me at the end of the row.

"Lita."

"Good afternoon."

"Have a seat." Eleanor pulls out the chair next to hers. It scrapes across the floor.

"Thank you." I unclip my Arts Unit, lean it against the table and sit down.

I turn to face Adele. "Sorry to eavesdrop… but you are going back to Leithanien, Adele?"

I say every word slowly and clearly, shaping each one with my mouth.

Her eyes go to my lips and stay there until I finish.

"Yes. I plan to visit for a few weeks."

"Okay…"

The hearth fire warms. "Don't worry, Lita. I am not going back alone."

"You are not?"

"No. Swire and Mousse will be there."

"Uhm…" I take out my slate and scroll through my profiles until Mousse's photo comes up. "Mousse… I had a mission with her." I look up from the screen. "With you two as well. Who is Swire?"

"She's a businesswoman from Lungmen," Adele says. "She works with us from time to time."

Lungmen.

Before any of the memories can surface, Eleanor's sweet mint cuts my thoughts off.

"Why is a businesswoman going to Leithanien with Rhodes Island, though?" Eleanor asks, her light grey ears flicking.

Adele's eyes go to her mouth.

"Doctor says Swire wanted my knowledge for acquiring rare mineral samples in the volcanic regions."

"Miss Eyjafjalla is so famous!"

Eleanor's eyes have turned to stars again. The static around her buzzes.

Adele smiles. "It was just convenient that I filed for leave to Leithanien around the same time."

Behind the chestnut and dormant hearth fire, a note of something sour.

"You always say that, Adele." I make sure she can see every word. "But you are definitely the smartest on this landship."

"Now, now, Lita. Let's focus on our studies and your homework." She slides a slate across the table to me. "Shall we begin?"

"What's the topic today?" I ask.

Her eyes leave her book and come to my mouth. The hearth fire warms.

"How about Laterano today?"

I nod, a little weakly.

Adele picks up her magnifying glass and flips her book back a few chapters, to a drawing of a white city full of tall, thin towers.

"What do you know about the city?"

Beside me, Eleanor slides her notebook out from under the book she dropped earlier and flips through it. Page after page of her tiny handwriting, with little sketches of rocks in the margins. The static around her picks up.

"Well…"

I pull my sleeves down over my hands.

"It is the city of Sankta and Liberi…" I say. "They really don't like us…"

Eleanor's pages stop.

She looks up from her notes. Her light grey ears tilt toward me.

"I mean Sarkaz…"

"Lita."

Adele looks directly at me.

"I believe you have watched the news about the summit?"

"Su…"

A Feline anchor on my slate, and the caption under her.

"Oh, right. I did."

"Apparently they are calling it the Lateran Declaration now," Eleanor chimes in, running her finger down a page of her notes. "The speech, I mean."

Adele's eyes go to Eleanor's mouth, then come back to me.

"What happened?" I ask.

"We only got sparse reports," Adele says. "But they were attacked before the summit could begin."

"What?" I lean over the table. "By whom?"

"They call themselves Pathfinders."

Adele sets her magnifying glass down on the book.

"From what our intel says, they have two goals. They wanted to end the generational feud between Sarkaz and Sankta…"

"And better treatment of the Liberi citizens inside Lateran City," Eleanor adds, reading off her notes.

My eyes go back to the drawing of the city.

"Oh…" I say. "So there are people like that…"

I slowly lift my focus back to Adele.

"How did it end?"

"For the summit, or for the Pathfinders?" Adele asks. Her curling horns catch the dim light of the aisle.

"Both, please."

"For the summit… As Mint mentioned earlier, the Pope delivered a speech, calling on nations to solve their internal and external conflicts diplomatically."

"So that's the Lateran Declaration?" I ask, and tilt my head slightly. My left horn drags my neck further to the left.

"Yes," Eleanor adds.

Adele nods along. "In essence."

"And the Pathfinders?"

"They were allowed to leave Laterano without facing consequences."

I straighten my head back up.

"So they didn't succeed…"

Adele's hand finds mine on the table. Warmth and roasted chestnut fill the space between us.

"It will take a long time for the feud between Sankta and Sarkaz to settle."

Adele pauses.

"But Lita, remember Exusiai?"

I think back to the chaotic day in January.

A small laugh slips out of me. "I don't think I can forget about her if I try…"

"She is the proof that the feud is a choice, not how things must be." Her thumb brushes over my knuckles. "If it is not how things must be, it can end. It may be tomorrow. It may be in a century."

The hearth fire holds steady.

"But there will be an end."

"Just focus on the apple pie!"

Exusiai's voice pops into my head.

"I could use another apple pie…"

It slips out before I can stop it.

Adele pauses. This time, the chestnut fizzles and pops.

Beside me, Eleanor giggles into her notes. She holds the book up against her face to hide it, and her tail twitches wildly behind her chair. Her mint is leaking out from behind the pages.

"Sorry!"

I pull my hand out of Adele's and hide both of them inside my sleeves. I look down into my lap. I can feel my face burning.

"Well," Adele says, "we can arrange one once our study today is done."

I lift my head just enough for her to see my mouth.

"Mom and Lisa already promised we will make tiramisu tonight…"

"That sounds interesting!" Eleanor exclaims, lowering the book. "Though, it takes about five hours before it's ready to eat. You won't get to taste it until tomorrow."

I crane my neck to look at Eleanor.

"I thought… I thought I get to eat it today!"

"Not if you make it tonight."

"I am lied to! This is not fair."

My forehead crashes onto the table. My horns point straight at Adele.

Beside me, I can hear Eleanor holding back another giggle.

"If you don't mind, can I come tonight?" she asks. "I want to make more for Skyfire too! She didn't eat any when we were in Siracusa for the field mission."

"Okie…" I mumble into the table.

A tap on the wood, right between the tips of my horns.

"Now, Lita, stay focused," Adele says. "We still have geography and the quick history of Laterano to go through."

I drag myself off the table.

"Okay… Adele…"

Adele's lessons get completely drowned out by mom's betrayal.

We finish at about 1700.

"Miss Eyjafjalla, do you want to come too?" Eleanor closes her notebook and asks.

Adele looks at me, then at Eleanor.

"If Lita doesn't mind, I would like to."

"Of course not! We are going to make the best tiramisu, so the wait is worth it!" My hands bang the table, just slightly.

"She is excited," Eleanor observes.

"I am not a rock sample."

I slide my slate into my bag and check that everything else is in there. Then I pick my Arts Unit up from against the table and set it on my belt. It clicks into place.

I pull out my communicator and start a new group chat.

Suzuran. Podenco. Caladria. Rosmontis. Mint. Eyjafjalla.

[Lethe]: Where are we meeting?

[Podenco]: Someone is excited.

[Suzuran]: Let's meet at the kitchenette near the dorms at Middle Deck 2.

[Lethe]: Okay.

Adele, Eleanor and I walk through the hallways of our shared home, toward the elevator. Rhodes Island's rook marks most of the walls. Proud and permanent.

Eleanor walks beside me. Adele is a step ahead of us.

"So what exactly is a tiramisu?" I turn to ask Eleanor.

"Hmmm…" She taps a finger against her notebook. "It is basically cream layered on top of soaked biscuits."

I picture soggy, wet round biscuits, each with a dollop of cream on top.

I shake my head.

"Are you sure?"

"You will see when we start to make it."

The elevator lets us out, and we walk down the hallway. Off-duty Operators hurry past us toward the cafeteria and the break rooms. We keep going, all the way to a quiet corner at the end.

I tap my ID card on the reader.

Sugar and yuzu reach me before the door has finished hissing open.

Lisa and Podenco are already here.

"Hi, Lita, Mint and Miss Eyja!" Lisa waves at us.

"Hey," Podenco adds.

We wave back.

Stools and sofas, a dining table, and a little kitchen along one wall. A fridge hums in the corner.

Warm lavender and steeped chamomile, from the back of the room.

Lena is standing by the dining table, already setting it. Knives and forks sit in neat rows along its edge.

"Oh, evening, girls." She sets down the last fork. "Erika and I decided to cook dinner here as well. You three haven't eaten yet, right?"

I shake my head. "We came straight here."

"That's great news, dear. Savage is coming to help with the cooking."

Eleanor sets her notebook down on a side table. "I never had the chance, but I hear her cooking is one of the best on the landship!"

"Don't tell that to Gummy," Podenco says.

"Or Mr. Matterhorn," Lisa adds.

"More importantly." Podenco looks down at her own slate and reads from it. "Miss Erika says she is just going to get Rosmontis after Dr. Warfarin's check-up. If we are missing anything, she will get it from the main cafeteria kitchen."

Lisa hops off the stool she was sitting on and walks toward the fridge, her nine auburn tails swinging comfortably behind her.

"Let's see what's in the fridge."

She pulls the door open. Cold air spills out across the floor.

"Seafood, poultry, meat. Veggies." She leans further in. "Carrots, check too."

With that, Lisa shuts the fridge door.

We all settle down on the stools and sofas.

Adele and Eleanor never seem to stop talking about the geological features Eleanor saw in Siracusa. Adele's eyes stay on Eleanor's mouth the whole time.

Podenco is on the Rim Billiton flowers' micro-climate pods again, while Lena listens. Every so often, Lena adds a "You are doing a great job, dear" in there.

Lisa is showing me her plans on her slate, to go back to Higashi with a few other Operators for a few days, when the door opens again.

Sun-drenched honey. Slow-roasted carrots and sun-baked earth.

Mom walks in, still talking with Savage. I only catch something about vegetables and growing bodies.

Cool stone, and the static before rain. Rosmontis follows behind them.

But there's another taste.

Spun sugar, with grey dust settled over it.

Amiya is standing beside Rosmontis.

The chatter all stops.

"Hello, everyone." Amiya waves, and smiles.

"Savage invited me. I hope you don't mind."

I shake my head until I feel dizzy.

"Amiya," Adele greets her with a smile.

Amiya walks in with Rosmontis. "I haven't gotten to see most of you for a while now…"

She starts to say something else, then stops. Her long ears droop. A faint taste of sour orange, picked before it is ready, lingers beneath her spun sugar.

"I heard from Erika that you are trying to make tiramisu tonight."

Under the grey dust, the spun sugar brightens.

"Yes!" Lisa replies. "Lita is trying to make her first dessert, ever."

"Can we start on the tiramisu? While the dinner is getting cooked?" I ask. "I might get to taste it tonight?"

"Alright, alright." Mom sets a bag of supplies down on the counter. "Let's divide tasks. Savage and I are definitely cooking. But we could use one or two people to help with chopping, cleaning and plating."

Lena stands up. "I will help with those, and with the cooking."

"I can help," Rosmontis volunteers.

"Alright then," mom says. "Everyone else is the tiramisu squad?"

We all nod.

Except Adele.

"I will watch over them," she says, "to make sure they don't destroy the room by accident."

Lisa, Podenco, Amiya, Eleanor and I converge on the counter.

Podenco picks up a glass and takes a long drink of water.

"Here are the ladyfingers." Mom pulls a red box out of the bag she set down earlier.

"Ladyfingers?" I take a step back. "No one told me we need fingers! We are Rhodes Island, no?"

Podenco claps both hands over her mouth. Her cheeks puff out.

Mom's honey fizzes.

"Oh, my little Lita." She turns the box so I can see the picture on it. "They are biscuits. Long and rectangular. Not actual fingers."

I take a long look at the picture.

On the front of the box, the biscuits sit in a neat row. Long and pale gold, rounded at both ends, with a crust of white sugar crystals across the top. Above them, in curly white letters: Savoiardi.

Then I look at mom. She is still holding the box, and her honey is fizzing. No unripe fruit. No rot.

"So… those are the biscuits Eleanor mentioned." I breathe out.

Podenco finally manages to swallow her water.

"Let's get started." Lisa takes the box from mom. She pulls out her slate and brings up a recipe.

Eleanor leans over to look at it.

"We have the ladyfingers. We just need mascarpone, sugar, eggs, milk and cocoa powder," she says. "For the no-caffeine version."

"So… how do we actually make this?"

Lisa turns around and counts us quickly.

"We have five people here."

She looks back at the recipe.

"Okay. Amiya and Lita, if you don't mind, please warm the milk and mix it into cocoa milk."

"Okay."

Amiya weaves between mom and Rosmontis and grabs a large pot from the shelf. Behind them, a knife is already going on a chopping board.

I walk toward the fridge.

"Milk, milk…" I look through the rows of bottles. "Ah, there."

"Podenco, if you can, please crack the eggs and separate the yolks from the whites," Lisa says. "Mint and I will make the mascarpone cream."

"I will do the whites and the sugar," Eleanor says.

I twist the milk bottle open.

Amiya sets the pot down on the stove.

Around us, eggs crack and pots bang.

"How have you been recently, Lita?" Amiya asks. "We haven't gotten to talk since January."

"Uhm…" I pour the milk into the pot slowly, with both hands. "Not much happened. Garden, Archives, cafeteria and dorm. Just like that. Besides the Catastrophe triage back in February, near Victoria."

I set the now empty bottle down.

"Everyone has been taking care of me a lot…" I look up at her. "Your company is really nice, Amiya."

"I am glad."

The spun sugar goes a little sweeter.

I rinse the empty milk bottle and twist the cap back on. "What about you?"

"Mostly the same, just Command and dorm for me, instead. Ther… Civilight Eterna asked about you once."

"She did?"

"Yes. I told her about your trip to Lungmen. Unscheduled kidnapping." Amiya giggles.

She then presses the button on the stove. She only taps the plus twice.

"Shouldn't we put it on max?"

"Oh, no." Amiya shakes her head. "We only want to warm the milk, so it can dissolve the cocoa. Not boil it."

I nod slowly.

"Let's get the cocoa and a can opener," Amiya says. "They should be in the pantry."

I follow her toward the pantry door.

"Wait, Rosmontis, don't use telekinesis on a knife." I can hear mom behind us.

"It is easier. And more precise."

"That's not the point. Here, hold it like this."

Then Lisa, from the other end of the counter. "Mint, the whites are spilling out a bit. Be careful."

The mint behind me spikes, drowning out the other tastes.

"Is that a clump of sugar in there?" Podenco asks.

I resist the urge to turn around and look.

Instead, I look for the cocoa.

"Not the metal ones, Lita," Amiya says. "It is a cardboard one."

"They can be sealed like a can?" I scan the shelves. "Ah, here."

It sits on the top shelf, almost too high for me. I stretch up on my toes and pull it down.

As soon as I set it on the counter, Amiya takes the can opener and opens it.

Rich cocoa floods my nose.

I take the can to the stove and start to pour it into the pot.

"Wait, Lita!" Amiya reaches out.

Before her hand can land on my arm, an avalanche of cocoa powder rushes into the milk.

Pop.

Something far more solid drops into the pot after it.

Cocoa powder covers the entire stove. And the ends of my sleeves.

"Lita?" Mom spins around. Her honey buzzes, a spike of tart lemon running through it.

I'm still holding the half-empty cocoa can, tipped sideways over the stove.

"I am fine… Achoo!"

I turn away from the stove and sneeze at the floor.

"We should fish the spoon out of the milk," Amiya says, already reaching for a big spoon-like thing with a long handle.

My tail lies defeated on the floor.

"Sorry…"

"It is alright." Mom comes over and takes the cocoa can out of my hands. She wipes my sleeves with a cloth while Amiya fishes out the spoon. A small plastic one, dripping brown.

The lemon fades out of mom's honey.

"We just need to add a bit more milk," mom says. "Unless we want the ladyfingers a bit more bitter."

"I would rather not…"

"More milk it is," Amiya says, already heading for the fridge.

From across the room, the roasted chestnut fizzes.

"The room is still standing," Adele says.

By some miracle, Amiya and I finish our cocoa milk, and my three other friends finish their cream. I cannot remember its name.

We set our cocoa-covered pot down on a thick cloth, next to Lisa's bowl of cream.

"So what do we do now?" I ask.

Podenco sets two glass trays down, stacked one on top of the other, and separates them.

"So we dip the ladyfingers…" Lisa tears open the packaging, and her sugar goes a little restless. "There, into the cocoa milk. Then we layer the cream on top, and repeat one more time."

"So four layers in total?" I ask.

"Yes!" Lisa nods.

I pick one of the biscuits out of the packaging and dunk it all the way into the pot.

The others start to pick one each too.

"Also, make sure you don't soak the biscuits too long," Lisa adds.

I hurry to pull mine out. Just as the tip breaks the surface, the biscuit snaps, and the soaked part falls back into the pot.

Only the dry end is left between my fingers.

"Not like this?" I smile at Lisa. Hoping she won't get upset.

"Not like that."

Her sugar doesn't change.

Eleanor and Podenco have already laid a row of ladyfingers along the bottom of the trays.

Amiya is eating hers. A drop of cocoa milk runs down toward her wrist.

She notices I am looking right at her.

"I am sure we have more than enough," she says.

"If the CEO says so." I puff out my cheeks slightly, then let them deflate.

I dip a ladyfinger quickly and move to put it right next to the one Podenco just laid down.

"That's not soaked enough, Lita," Lisa interrupts. "It needs just a bit longer."

Lisa grabs one and dips it in.

"Count six, five, four, three, two, one." She lifts it out. "And there."

She lays it down beside mine. Hers is dark all the way through. Mine is still pale in the middle.

I nod.

"Okay… this is a lot harder than I thought…"

I get back to work as we keep laying ladyfingers down, while Lisa and Podenco start piling the cream on top of our very unevenly soaked biscuits.

A dollop of cream. They spread it out with the back of the spoon, and repeat.

"Can I have a taste of the cream?" I ask, staring at the tray.

Podenco shakes her head.

My tail is halfway to the floor.

"Sure. We made plenty," she says.

It snaps right back up.

I swipe my finger along the back of their spoon and scrape up some cream.

I shove the finger right into my mouth.

The cream melts almost instantly. Rich, and sweet.

I pull my finger back out.

"Amiya, is there some kind of Arts that can fast-forward time?"

Amiya puts her fist under her chin.

"Hmmm. We could always ask Mostima or Shu. Maybe they can figure something out."

"Wait, really?" I lean closer. "I don't know who they are, but they can?"

"Don't give her those ideas, Amiya," mom says suddenly, from behind me. "Dinner's almost ready, girls. Come to the table when you are done, okay?"

"Okay," we all answer in unison.

I watch mom head back to the stove.

Then I lean in close to Amiya's right ear.

"Can you call them?" I whisper.

"Maybe next time we can get Mostima to come," she whispers back, and promises.

We finish the rest of the tiramisu without any more incidents and put the trays into the fridge.

Two glass trays on the middle shelf, lumpy under the cream.

"How long will this take?" I ask, as Podenco shuts the door.

"Two to four hours. The recipe says so," Lisa adds.

Two to four. Not five.

"Wait, we can have it tonight?!"

"It is already late. We save it for tomorrow," mom interrupts.

My tail is now officially dead on the floor.

Mom sends all of us to the dining table.

Dinner is grilled meat and fish, steamed vegetables, and a big pot of something orange and smooth.

I look down at my plate. Mom has already served my share: one fillet, one scoop of the orange stuff, one serving of vegetables.

Savage sits next to Amiya, and Amiya next to Rosmontis. I am flanked by mom and Lisa.

"How do you like the carrot mash, Lethe?" Savage asks, breaking off from her conversation with Amiya.

"Oh, uhm…" I quickly take a bite and chew. It is creamy and buttery, with something faintly herbal underneath.

I swallow.

"It is… it is really tasty."

"That's Miss Savage's specialty," Lisa quietly adds.

Savage smiles at us, and finishes chewing her own mouthful.

"We can have it anytime, when I am on the landship."

On the landship.

I take a long look at her.

Slow-roasted carrots. Sun-baked earth. But under them, it is still wrong. Something salty, stagnant and dusty. Faint, but undeniably still there.

"Savage…" I say.

Her ears twitch in my direction.

"Did they like the flower basket?"

Across the table, Podenco and Lena suddenly stop eating.

Under the lavender and the yuzu, the same taste. Salty. Stagnant.

Amiya, Lisa and mom pause too.

"Sorry." I look down at my fish fillet. "I didn't mean to…"

Why does everyone seem to know, except me?

"Lita…" Amiya says. Then she stops.

I hold back the sob that is threatening to come out.

"Does it… does it have anything to do with me?" My voice shakes. "Did the me before… did I do something wrong?"

"No, no!" Mom wraps her arms around me from the side. "My little Lita, you didn't do anything wrong."

"Then why…"

Something hot runs down my cheek and drops onto my sleeve.

"You had a young patient." Amiya's voice is steady now. The voice she uses for official commands. "She is a Cautus…"

She trails off.

"We… you and me, Lethe. We found her a home in Rim Billiton," Savage takes over. Then she stops too.

I taste everyone at the table. It is still the same. Salty.

"It… it wasn't to say hello, was it…" I squeeze out.

Mom pats my back.

No one answers.

"She is in a place that is not Terra now. A better one," Lena says, from across the table.

Lavender and chamomile. Nothing underneath anymore.

I don't really remember the rest of dinner. I only remember that it tasted of nothing, and salt.

I am back in my dorm now.

Mom lingers at my door.

Her honey is frayed. Burnt.

I pull the sheep up from the foot of the bed and bury my face in it. The woolly Caprinae riding on top of it tumbles off the bed and onto the floor.

"Good night, mom," I say into its fuzz.

"Lita…"

The honey is still in the doorway.

"Good night," she says. "See you in the morning."

I hear the door hiss shut.

I don't remember when I fall asleep.

I am sitting.

I cannot move. I cannot say anything.

I should be scared. Instead, there is a strange calm.

I look around.

Towering shelves. Books and slates, all the way up.

I look across the table.

A Djall sits on the other side. A small one. Her left horn is longer than her right, and her hair is woodsmoke grey. Her sleeves hang past her fingers.

A book with green covers in her hands. On the front, "Botany for beginners."

Is that… me?

Then I hear a door hiss open.

The me across the table turns toward it.

"Ms. Theresa," the small me greets her.

The body I am in turns too.

"Good afternoon, Theresa," my mouth says.

Theresa walks over to our table. Long pinkish-white hair, black horns, a white dress.

"Good afternoon, Lethia. Lita."

Lethia…

I am… I am… in my mom?

I want to cry. But nothing comes out.

"What are you reading today?" Theresa asks, turning to the small me.

"Flowers!" The small me waves the book. "I want to make a beautiful garden when mom and I get back to our home in Kazdel!"

"She's had a bit of a one-track mind since Amiya showed her the flowers last time," Lethia says.

Theresa smiles. She kneels down until her eyes are level with the small me's.

I bolt upright.

The sheep is still in my grip, soft against my chest.

I look around. My dorm, dark and quiet. Tears drop onto the plushie.

I squeeze it hard.

A garden…

Theresa… mom…

I have a garden now…

A lot more than a garden…

I lean over the edge of the bed and pick the woolly Caprinae up off the floor.

I set it back on top of the sheep and hold them both.

Morning comes.

The routine. The brushes, the… the ponytail…

Mom tips my chin up for the collar. The clasp clicks. Then she holds my face, longer than usual.

"If you want, just tell Lena you need a break today."

"I want to see the garden, mom."

She doesn't protest.

We walk to the cafeteria, like every morning. The corridors are louder than usual. I squeeze into mom's side.

We keep walking.

"Wait, mom. Isn't the cafeteria to the right?" I stop at the junction.

She keeps walking me forward.

The noise falls away behind us. Mom taps her ID card, and the door slides open.

It is the kitchenette.

"Tiramisu for breakfast today, my little sugar-filled Djall." Mom kisses my cheek.

Her honey is sweeter than usual.

I look at the humming fridge, then up at mom. Her eyes are a little wet.

"Are Lisa, Amiya and everyone free? We made it together, we should eat it together."

"I will message everyone," mom says, and pulls out her communicator.

After a while, the door opens.

Lisa. Her sugar is dim. The sleep hasn't left her yet.

Then Podenco and Lena.

Adele comes next, and Ms. Skyfire follows her in. Sharp chili pepper and cinnamon with a burning hearth fire.

Eleanor is right behind them. She catches her foot on the door track, and Ms. Skyfire grabs her arm without even turning around.

Savage comes last, with Amiya. Amiya is holding hands with Rosmontis, whose eyes are barely open.

Cool smooth stone. Hardly any static at all.

Lena goes to fetch the tiramisu, and Savage grabs the plates.

Lisa settles on the sofa next to Amiya. Rosmontis tips sideways onto Amiya's shoulder.

Eleanor, Ms. Skyfire and Adele sit around the far corner of the long table.

"I already explained this in Siracusa, Eleanor. A dessert that heavy has no place on a field mission," Ms. Skyfire begins.

Her taste doesn't change.

She pauses, watching Lena shake more cocoa powder over the two trays.

Eleanor opens her mouth to answer, and yawns instead.

"But it's not… heavy," she manages. "It has layers. Like sediment."

"However," Ms. Skyfire continues, "I suppose this is acceptable. For a group breakfast."

The chili softens into roasted spices.

"I will make lattes," mom says. "Who wants one?"

Adele and Savage raise their hands.

Lena and Ms. Skyfire pass.

"Can I…?" I ask.

"You know the answer, Lita."

"I will warm the milk, then."

Podenco has been leaning against the counter. She straightens up.

"I'll help. So you don't burn the milk," she says. "Or yourself, Miss Sarkaz Royalty."

I don't have the energy to answer her today.

The table finally settles. Warm milk for me, Lisa and Rosmontis. Amiya, Podenco, Ms. Skyfire and Lena drop a teabag into theirs.

A slice of tiramisu in front of everyone.

Cocoa fills the whole room.

Lisa picks up her spoon, still half asleep, and scoops up a chunk.

As soon as the spoon disappears into her mouth, her crystallized sugar lights up.

I follow, and make sure my spoon gets some of the biscuit under the cream.

The cocoa on top comes first, dry and a little bitter. Then the cream, cold and rich, melting away. Then the biscuit underneath, soaked brown and spoon-soft, sweet with cocoa milk.

One of the biscuits still crunches in the middle.

Probably mine.

"It tastes so good…" I mumble around my spoon.

Small talk finally begins as everyone digs into the tiramisu.

"This is definitely better than the one we had in Siracusa!" Eleanor is suddenly very awake.

"It tastes quite authentic," Adele adds.

A fizzy spike of sweet rosewater rises under her chestnut.

Lisa doesn't say anything. She just keeps eating.

"The cafeteria should put this on the permanent menu, Amiya," Lena says.

"This is a lot of cocoa," Rosmontis says, from Amiya's shoulder. A pause. "I like it."

This is the best breakfast I could ask for.

I turn to mom. She is sipping her latte.

I lean in close to her right ear.

"Thank you, mom," I whisper.

Mom's honey swells then fizzes. She leans in to my left ear and half covers her mouth.

"You are welcome, my little Lita," she whispers. "But remember, more spinach later. For the very indulgent breakfast."

My tail, which has been swishing a little, drops to the floor with a thud.

After that, the room starts to empty, with 0830 approaching.

"I have study sessions this morning," Lisa says.

"And I am the guest lecturer for their class today," Ms. Skyfire adds.

Eleanor sits up. "Can I sit in too, Skyfire?"

"You may," Ms. Skyfire says. "If you stay awake."

"I should get my traveling gear ready," Adele says.

Lena and Podenco head for the garden.

"Take it easy today, sweetie," Lena says at the door. "Come whenever you want."

I nod and give them a small wave.

Mom goes to the med bays. "I will see you at lunch, okay?"

I nod again, and wave her goodbye.

Savage pats me on the head on her way out. "Keep eating well, Lethe."

I nod once more and wave once again.

Rosmontis eventually lifts her head off Amiya's shoulder and wanders out. "I am going to find Doctor."

Then it is only Amiya and me.

Amiya's spun sugar is suddenly steeped in an ocean of dark tea.

Then a familiar taste rushes in.

From behind her, sweet milk and an ocean of salt.

Long pinkish-white hair. Black horns. A white gown, edged with dark, jagged crystal.

Theresa.

"Good morning, Lita."

The voice from my dream.

I rush forward to hug her, and run right through her.

My tail hangs limp against the floor.

She is not Theresa.

Civilight Eterna.

I stop there. I don't turn around.

"Lita…" Amiya starts. Then she stops.

"I had a dream last night," I say. "I was reading a book about botany…"

"That is part of Theresa's memory, yes," the voice behind me says.

"Forgive me, Lita. I did not mean to startle you," Civilight Eterna says. "I only wished to see how you were, after last night."

"I'm sorry, Lita," Amiya says. Behind me, her spun sugar goes a little sour. "I didn't know about the dream."

"It is fine. I… thank you… Civilight Eterna… I just wish… I could have said my goodbyes…"

Eventually, we settle on the sofa.

The leftover tiramisu sits on one plate between Amiya and me.

Civilight Eterna looks on.

Her sweet milk is grounding, even with the ocean of salt.

Amiya takes a bite, and slides the spoon back out of her mouth.

"Do you have plans in May?" she asks.

Under her spun sugar, the sour orange is back. Picked before it is ready.

"Whatever the best Cautus boss wants me to do?" I say. "I don't even plan a day ahead, Amiya."

Amiya's spun sugar comes back, just a little.

"Well, Lita. On the 2nd of May, we send our new rotation of Field Ops and Medics to the temporary triage center outside Lungmen." She sets her spoon down on the plate. "I am wondering… if you would like to go this time."

The refugees…

The ones I put in danger…

"I…" My hands squeeze into fists inside my sleeves.

"Lita," Civilight Eterna says. "Breathe."

I do.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

I think of Min and Lyn.

"It is okay…" Amiya says.

"No, Amiya. I want to go."

Amiya nods. The sour orange fades.

"Then it's settled. I will draft the next roster," she says. "It will be pending Dr. Kal'tsit's and Doctor's approval, of course. But so far, the relief squad is Franka, Liskarm, Rope, Mint, Hibiscus, Sussurro… and you."

"That's a lot of people."

"It is a big camp, Lita. A few thousand people. You need to be ready."

"I… I will. I will go to the garden, then… if there's nothing else."

Before I can stand up, Civilight Eterna speaks.

"Finish the tiramisu first, you two. It is not good to waste food."